Look Up

It's been exactly twelve days since October 23rd and exactly six months since May 4th. Those days that feel like the worst days of your life, they're not really, because you've still got further to fall and lower to feel. This isn't optimistic, because I don't feel optimistic. I have a friend who reads this blog and has commented a couple times how she admires my outlook - how, no matter what's going on, I'm able to see the beauty of life and humanity and the like.

But I feel like this Postsecret:


It's just getting difficult. It's not that I've stopped believing in all the good things, and that love is all you need. Frankly I just feel like the world has just stopped proving that I could be right. And I worry that even though love is all that matters, and the only thing that can transcend life and death and everything in between, love might not be enough.

I've been torn between two coasts, two lives. Last Friday my best friend from school put her headphones on my ears and played me a song that made me cry on the spot.

"I could stay here, become someone different.
I could stay here, become someone better.

It's hard to go into the city, because you wanna say 'I love you' to everybody
It's so hard to go into the city, because you wanna say, 'hey, I love you,' to everybody.

When we were teenagers, we wanted to be the sky..."

Sometimes you have to choose. So for now, I'll stay.

posted by Allison Francis @ 6:19 PM