Look Up

The happiness now is part of the pain later.
The pain later is a part of the happiness now.

I keep hearing this in Problems of Faith and it's finally making sense. I feel like I could learn this one million times and every time it would mean more. When you allow yourself to love, of course you let pain in. People hurt, people leave, people die. We all know this to some extent, but we all perpetually lament the pain we experience.

But how could I, or anyone, possibly regret one single second spent loving so truly? I could never. I won't, ever.

It's hard for me to be happy when such terrible things are happening and the worst is yet to come. But it's impossible for me to just be sad when there's so much beauty surrounding me and so much fucking love, always flowing in and out, as enveloping as an ocean, but somehow more overwhelming. What I've been learning the past month or so is, I won't be happy. With all the tragedy and natural evil and unbearable pain, I may never really be happy. But I'm fine. I'm more than fine; I'm so fufilled. This, to me, is so much more important than being happy.

"There are so many perfect ideas in this town. But love, like a mushroom high compared with the buzz from cheap weed, outlasts grief. It does. Love is everything. It is the greatest of these. And I think that we all use whatever is in our power, whatever is within our reach, to attempt to keep alive the love we've felt."

So often, the simplest thing is the truest.

posted by Allison Francis @ 12:24 PM