Look Up

"All right, I can say what you want me to
All right, I can do all the things you do
All right, I'll make it all up for you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love with you."
[Stars - Heart(live version)]

Sometimes just staying conscious, staying awake, staying alive makes me so tired. But it's gotten to the point where I could never give up. If only for one reason, one person, and I don't care how that sounds to anyone because I know what I believe. As much as I appreciate Problems of Faith class -- fuck all the theories of metaphysics, because I know what's real to me and to me that's all that matters. I know that I'm making a huge sweeping generalization but honestly if this is all I have, and if there's nothing after the life I know, this is all that matters.

Aside from the meaningful parts of real life ... junior year hit me hard last week. I was ridiculously stressed out because of the junior paper, a few tests, and a lot of homework, and beyond that I was pissed off that I was stressed out because I understand that I'll get through it (I mean, think of all the Jesuit High School tools who have made it beyond junior year in the past...) and in the long run it won't matter anyway.

I played at Coffeehouse, which was exciting! Honestly, not in an oh-tell-me-I-rocked way, I felt like I could have performed a lot better ... I was nervous in spite of my excitement. But there's one more to go this year, and a lot of people went out of their way to tell me they liked it, anyway. Making music has actually become a fairly significant aspect of my life; it's definetley an outlet for my cliche teenage myriad of emotions and most of the time I'm glad to just be creating anything at all.

Until the next time I feel like procrastinating, with all my love...

"I want more, for you!"
[Stars]

posted by Allison Francis @ 8:29 PM