Look Up

It's 3:00 AM on the first day of the week. Instead of starting the analytical portion of my term paper on Joan Didion which is due tomorrow, I just finished recording an acoustic version of "Wonderwall". I'm not worried. I know I'll be tired, but I'll make it through. I believe it is up to me to decide what the important things to feel are.

Like everyone, I don't know how to react. I heard the news of our world changing last Tuesday night and it still doesn't make sense. Like everyone, I'm devastated in the deepest way. I'm not yet beyond the somewhat random and overwhelming bursts of fear and sadness and frustration, but they are becoming more sparse. I explained tonight that I often feel guilty for being anything less than completely dumbstuck but my feelings haven't changed and I still care harder than I care about anything else. I know I don't have to apologize for my feelings because I know you understand but still. You know? I know you do.

but after all.

For you, I will be here in every way I can dream of existing. And no matter how little I know about life, I can solemnly swear and sincerely believe that our love will live, for whatever forever there may be.

posted by Allison Francis @ 3:03 AM