Look Up

I love concerts. From the pounding and vibrations of the music, to the heat of the masses of bodies, to the wafting scent of marijuana smoke, shows are vividly sensory experiences all around. I went to Iron & Wine last night at the Roseland. Me and my friend Mariel were in a pretty mellow mood, which at some point during the night, turned to lethargy ... but it was a nice show nonetheless. Calexico, M. Ward, and the lead singer of the Shins also played -- gotta love Portland. The highlight was, of course, Sam Beam playing with his sister: if their voices weren't as perfect as they are on their records, they were most definitely more alive and soulful. Here's a song from the new Iron & Wine/Calexico EP called 16, Maybe Less.

Read the book White Oleander by Janet Fitch. It contains maybe some of the best writing I've ever experienced. I've also finished reading Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor. Of course I liked it -- I mean, it's Chuck -- but I thought it was lacking in something I can't describe. I've got two more books of his to go, Choke and Stranger than Fiction, and I'm highly looking forward to them.

"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown."

That articulates one thing I tried to explain last Monday afternoon, when I found myself at a friend's house, first bitching and venting, eventually crying and explaining. At the time it didn't seem profound, more relieving than anything else, but that day was a turning point for me. At least, it inspired me to make a decision. Which, in simplest terms, is to be kinder. And I think I can see just that change making a difference in how happy or sad I am.

Homecoming is tonight! I hadn't expected to want to go until a couple of days ago. Maybe the change in attitude came with the breakdown, or with the junior class's amazing Powderpuff victory, but somehow, I am very excited for the evening.

About 55 days till Heaven, and salt.

"I've been held back by something
Yeah, you said to me quietly on the stairs
Always love. Hate will get you every time.
Always love."
[Nada Surf]

posted by Allison Francis @ 10:09 AM