Look Up

Coming in after a rushed drive to make curfew, I immediately found my deserted red notebook and wrote the following:

"I feel so strange.
I was just at Amanda Heminger's. We watched Waking Life, this movie which is basically about dreams, life, and different theories on both. It puts you in a really confused yet content mood. The drive home was strange. I was so tired that I had to remind myself to keep my focus. It was raining hard and in some stretches of road there was so much fog I felt like I might as well be blind because I had no control.
Over the Sylvan exit, a parked car had its hazards on ... I stopped to say, 'is there anything I can do? Are you guys all right?' and one boy talked to me and said yes, the other's mom was on the way, but thanks so much! And I drove away and thought about how I could've married that kid but we'd probably never see each other again. And on curvey Humphrey Boulevard I startled myself by driving through this HUGE splash in a ridge and thought about how I could change my future entirely simply by letting go of the wheel. And how if I died no one would ever really know what I'd been thinking and that boy might not even find out that he was the last person I spoke to."


"They say dreams are only real as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

Oh -- and download this Say Hi to Your Mom song. It's called Let's Talk about Spaceships. And as silly as it sounds, I really love its honesty and sweetness. So give it a chance, please.

I wouldn't mind another one, either.

MORNING UPDATE: Pretty much, Waking Life gave me the most confusing dreams I could ever have. I don't even remember exactly what I dreamed about except that they mostly consisted of me being like, "is this a dream? This is a dream, isn't it. Okay, I'm lucid dreaming; what do I do now." But I think for the most part the people in my dream acted annoyed that I denied their reality. And I slept till nearly one trying to control these dreams. Oh man.

posted by Allison Francis @ 11:52 PM